what a birdsong
by gokult
Summary: She loves a boy she's never known; he wonders if he can even save her, this time around.
1. breakeven

**TITLE:** what a birdsong  
><strong>GENRE:<strong> varies; drama  
><strong>WORD COUNT:<strong> 700+  
><strong>CHAPTER COUNT:<strong> 1/10 (?)  
><strong>NOTE:<strong> i love tenri & keima's my spirit animal towards the world, rly  
>UGH SORRY THIS IS PRACTICALLY BARF ugh ugh<br>please bear w/ fluctuating writing styles; i'm trying to get better writing different genres, & it'll be a struggle given keima's (_damn_) personality.  
>this fandom is small, man. i just wanna talk bout twgok and WTF IS W TENRI

ON A BLANK PAGE ? ? ?  
>(RAGE QUITS)<p>

* * *

><p><strong>what a [ birdsong ]<strong>

she loves a boy she's never known; he wonders if he can even save her, this time around.

* * *

><p>prologue ; <strong>breakeven<br>**(_they say bad things happen for a reason | but no wise words are gonna stop the bleeding_)

;;;

"— I'm sorry," she whispers tiredly, her eyes slipping closed vaguely. Wobbly knees knock against coarse chainmail, and she slides down to the pavement, panting. "I, I _can't_."

"Tenri," and red eyes blink desperately, _desperately, _"Tenri, _no, _Tenri, you— you _need to _run_._"

She blinks her eyes back at _her_ reflection, watches the piercing red eyes carefully, and wonders if maybe she's going crazy from all the running and sprinting and _forgetting. _

She wonders what she's forgotten.

Footsteps clap into puddles harshly, and Tenri faintly glows; _it_ blinks back tears after a few seconds, and Tenri wonders all over again. "What _are_ you?"

Red eyes are all she sees. "Oh, Tenri," _it _replies sadly, and she blinks in response blankly, her head tilting. Her braids are coming loose, her hair is tumbling down, down, down, there's soot on her skirt, and Tenri thinks that she's never felt so lost.

Everything's on the tip of her tongue— this voice is familiar, her mind hisses, and those eyes mean something, and some part of her wants it back.

Her heart stings at something she can't quite place; then again, some part of her likes it _better_ this way. Maybe she'll never know why.

"— have you forgotten?" _it_ asks quietly after awhile.

Tenri traces a strange cut against her knee, thinking, and somehow makes believe that it's all a nightmare. She's somewhere between the lines of _crazy _and _lost _and _lonely. _She's losing something she never had, and dammit, her _reflection _is talking to her, and, and Tenri has the feeling that perhaps she's never understood anything, really.

She's tired, and maybe she's forgetting something important; part of her wonders if it even matters.

"About?" she eventually murmurs back, (because what does she have to lose?), her mind swirling. The muddy water reflects those pretty red eyes mockingly, and it's all ugly words and drowning.

_It _is talking, talking, _talking, _but those words disappear and fade away when Tenri sees blue skies and she's _flying; _she can almost hear nothing at all.

"— a boy," the voice cries out sharply, and Tenri can see the hooded figures coming closer, and red eyes flash one last time; she feels _it_'s fear, because she's losing and forgetting and _gone_.

Tenri almost giggles as she drowns and suffocates into coarse, black cloths, and flies away from those pretty red eyes that were never hers.

"— that's silly," she remarks thoughtfully to no one at all. "I don't talk to boys."

* * *

><p>(<em>cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even<em>)

* * *

><p>The door opens a crack, and the bell tinkles gently in reply. He almost groans.<p>

"Welcome!" Elsie chirrups cheerily, and he scowls somewhat in reply.

Keima is, of course, awful at manning the café, and fails to look up from his PFP screen. He's fully concentrated on conquering some moe, little sister character on some grade-C game when Elsie's (_stupid_) skull goes off. Goddammit, he really should just throw her out.

"Elsie," he growls out, his eyes still glued to the screen as he tilts his glasses, "who—?"

He cuts off abruptly as a shadow veils his PFP, and his brows furrow.

"— excuse me," a quiet voice murmurs, "my mother sent this."

He freezes somewhat, because this voice is _far _too familiar, and there's nobody else in this goddamn café but him, a stupid devil, and a girl with a familiar voice. Keima's never been an idiot, and he can definitely see where this is going, and he doesn't like it.

When he raises his eyes, he is equal parts horrified and confused and _is this a flag. _

She smiles faintly as she settles the delicately wrapped box in front of him. Elsie pleads with him helplessly in the background, but he _already knows, _and goddammit, this shouldn't be happening. The girl turns on her heel, bowing politely on her way out, and just as she turns away—

"— Tenri, your hair's down."

She blinks blandly, her feet finally stopping her way going out the door, and when she turns, Keima looks into her eyes. Her brows are creased, and she smiles in a gentle, confused way; it's like she doesn't even—

— he grimaces, because this is bad, bad, bad.

Tenri's always been a bit dreamy— it's just her parameter, really. Her eyes are still too glassy, he thinks, to be just _dreamy_.

Keima sees it all in her eyes before she even talks, and he decides that if he's ever had to conquer a girl before, it'd be now.

"— do I know you?"

* * *

><p>(<em>i'm falling to pieces<em>)

* * *

><p><strong>xxx.<strong>


	2. a-team

**TITLE: **what a birdsong  
><strong>GENRE: <strong>general  
><strong>WORD COUNT: <strong>3000+  
><strong>NOTE: <strong>i have a crap track record w/ updating  
>SRY BUT WOW AT LEAST I ACTUALLY UPDATED lol like what I GUESS I'M JUST EXCITED YEAH (i'm lame sorry)<br>btw i like, love, love, _love _all the songs i'm gonna use, so like, yeah  
>excited for this story but oh man shitty summaries<br>hypothetically speaking, this is pretty much _after_ the jupiter arc, altho that's pretty questionable bc idK HOW THAT ARC IS GONNA END bc it ain't finished, but anyway  
>btw, nanaka has an accent, so i am typing diff for her (explains the '<em>shore<em>' & whatnot); what a pain lolz but it's cool bc she's cool  
>and now, onto the <em>actual plot <em>of the damn story YAY sorry this a/n is like obnoxiously long

* * *

><p><strong>what a [ birdsong ]<strong>

she loves a boy she's never known; he wonders if he can even save her, this time around.

* * *

><p>one ; <strong>a-team<strong>  
>(<em>but lately her face seems <em>| _slowly sinking wasting _| _crumbling like pastries_)

;;;

He pauses. He's definitely venturing into dangerous waters. He clicks for a few minutes, an awkward silence ensuing; he'll have to act now, and spur on the moment to boot— as in, there's no time for planning.

Conquests are _such_ a pain in the ass.

"— wrong person," he finally mutters vaguely, standing abruptly. He's already frowning as he attempts to push the girl out the door; she doesn't really protest, but he can see the slight twitch in her brows, and he makes a noise under his breath.

He shouldn't have used her name earlier.

Something nearly flashes through her eyes, and his narrow slightly in response. It disappears as quickly as it had appeared, and she stands back and grabs the handle easily enough. The bell twinkles on her way out, and the sun flashes on a girl he's not sure he knows anymore.

"Well, then," she calls out quietly, "please enjoy the food."

As the doors swish closed, Elsie ("_casually_") panics. "Kami-sama, was that really—?"

"— Tenri, yeah," he replies casually, already taking his PFP back out. Elsie stares _blankly, _because, well, that _can't be _right_. _

"She's forgotten about me," he deadpans shortly.

Elsie just kind of _blinks, _because this isn't supposed to happen. "Eh."

The ending theme starts to make its way through the room, and Keima stands and stretches. He swaps the game cartridges without even looking, and clicks through the beginning with ease. Elsie then begins to beat on his back because, "KAMI-NII-SAMA, THIS IS A RED FLAG!"

Keima shrugs. "It's a common theme in games."

Elsie nearly facepalms; instead, her fingers twitch as she plays with her broom.

"Ah, but, but," Elsie cries out in realization, her arms waving worriedly. Her eyes slide a look at the back of the girl in question, and, "What about Diana—?"

He looks up sharply and suddenly, his button clicking taking a slight pause. "The finer details can be worked out later," he says with an eventual sigh, rolling his shoulders. Conquests are annoying enough without all the finicky and delicate details of a disappeared goddess.

His partner is equal parts dumb and cooperative, and she doesn't question him much after that. He can appreciate such qualities in moments like these. There's a moment of silence that is only filled with his game music, her sweeping, and his clicking.

Keima rubs the bridge of his nose as he tries to simultaneously think and conquer. "For now, we need recon."

Elsie blinks and pauses in her cleaning. He pushes his glasses up in reply.

"— in three days, then," he says with a sigh and a moment of thinking. "In three days, Elsie, I need hagoromo dolls at school."

Elsie waits for him to continue; he doesn't. Her sweeping gets more furious, and Keima frowns a _little _nervously at how her fingers inch closer to her damn broom dial. "It's for _recon_," he tells her eventually. "We're staking out at Misato High."

Keima ignores her decidedly _ridiculous babbling_, ("why in _three _days?!" and "is this for another one of your games, Kami-sama?!") and wow, headache.

He brushes back a curtain, his tone a little tight, and somewhere along the lines of _annoyed_ and _I just want to play games. _He chances a glance at Tenri's back, just one more time, and he's only mildly surprised to see her eyes staring back at him curiously.

Keima snorts.

Tenri's always been much too perceptive towards him, memories be damned.

* * *

><p>(<em>this time, we'll fade out tonight<em> | _straight down the line_)

* * *

><p>It's really fucking cold in Misato High.<p>

Keima sneezes for the _fourth damn time_ and shudders. "Nobody can hear us, right? Or see us?"

Elsie pouts. "I've already _told _you so!"

He glares accusingly, _somehow, _without even looking up from his stupid PFP screen. "— well, that's what you said _last time_, and I _distinctly _remember a twelve year old running out of the room screaming about a pervert in the locker rooms."

Elsie makes a face. "Inconvenient timing."

"— inconvenient _partner,_" he corrects vaguely as he clicks through the atypical tsundere character.

Elsie wails away on his shoulder at the insult as he begins to scan the classroom. The students are aimlessly chattering, some mounted on top of desks as they squeal and laugh; others are dead asleep, snoring away. The clock is ticking away pleasantly all the while, and he sneezes (again).

He furrows his brow for a bit in his search, since Tenri really isn't the type to be _late_— unless Diana's pulling something, but then again, _that_ particular situation can't even happen anymore. He sighs slightly, looking moderately annoyed.

There's no point in being here if _she's_ not here.

The bell rings dully, and all the students flail for their seats as the teacher strolls inside. There's still no sign of Tenri (GODDAMMIT), and Elsie sits and watches him play games for the first hour. She falls asleep halfway through the second hour, and then awakes with a jolt when the door slams open a quarter till the third hour.

Keima is equal parts surprised and unsurprised, because Tenri's taking the _obvious _flagged routes as of recently, and it's putting him off, because Tenri's never really been the obvious type. Her hair brushes down her back gently, and she tugs on a strand with a furious blush as she shuffles towards the teacher.

The entire class erupts into whispers, and everybody seems to stare at her. Keima tilts his head curiously while Elsie takes copious notes/draws firetrucks.

(INCONVENIENT PARTNER, DAMMIT.)

"Sorry I'm late," she murmurs softly, her eyebrows crinkling, her mouth twitching. The teacher takes a triple take and stares.

"Ayukawa?"

Tenri quickly nods, her eyes sliding around the classroom. The class falls silent again, but they're _all _staring, now; even so, they fail to look surprised at all. Her shoulders hunch in reply, and she tugs on her hair worriedly. "Sorry," she repeats weakly.

"— I— it's okay," the teacher twitters with a laugh at the end. "I just didn't recognize you again, really."

Tenri hands in her note with something between a smile and grimace, and Keima sighs. "She's still completely shy," he mutters thoughtfully as he clicks a button. Elsie looks at him.

"You're not even looking."

"The route is _obvious_, Elsie."

She huffs in reply, a worried look crossing her eyes. He ignores it and watches Tenri make her way to her seat carefully, quietly, and slides her way into her seat with a soft sigh. Elsie's eyes widen slightly, the worried look growing.

"Kami-sama, she's _injured_."

"Hmm," he replies noncommittally, his eyes scoping the situation.

Keima sees the eyes that stare down Tenri's back, and he considers.

* * *

><p>(<em>and they scream <em>| _the worst things in life come free to us_)

* * *

><p>"— you shore you okay?"<p>

("Kami-sama_, _this sounds _really_ private!")

("Shut up, bug demon.")

Tenri sips through her straw, her eyes gliding towards the girl. She offers a smile, a dimple in her side. "I'm fine, Haibara-san."

Nanaka's eyes narrow, and her hands plant themselves onto her hips as she slides her desk right next to Tenri. "Oh_ really_?" she says, the suspicion tinging her voice.

She slurps in reply.

Nanaka purses her lips. "Fine, don' tell me," she snaps, a loud sigh exploding from her lips. Her eyes glide around the classroom; she stares back at the eyes of all the staring girls, and sticks her tongue out at all the stupid ass boys continually glancing in their damn direction.

"You shore are attractin' attention these days, Ayukawa," she remarks to the silent girl next to her. Tenri looks out the window, her head slightly nodding in response.

"— 'specially with all 'em bandages and stuff."

Her Kansai accent drips with suspicion and accusation. Tenri turns a slight pink, her brows creasing again. "I— I'm just— clumsy."

Nanaka sighs.

"Yeah, well, you were already pretty sketch," she replies, her legs planting themselves on top of the desk. Her bangs flop over one eye that continues to watch Tenri. "S'okay, though— you being mysterious s'part of your charm, or something."

Tenri flares a brighter red, and then proceeds to _very subtly _choke on her chocolate milk. "_What_?" she squeaks, her eyes wide.

"S'what what some of tha boys said."

Tenri proceeds to cough violently. "W-wha-wha—?!"

"Well, 'cause you're pretty popular, Ayukawa."

Nanaka pauses thoughtfully as she plays with a shogi piece.

"— 'specially these days, I guess."

Tenri looks as if she's about to faint, her face is so damn red. She can't even _stammer, _and she looks almost frustrated that there's no more milk for her to even choke on.

Nanaka arches a brow expectantly, a smirk making its way across her face. "You forgot?"

Her fingers clench the carton a little more tightly; her voice falters. "I— I, well— no?" she replies, a weak smile crossing her face again. Her fingers twitch again.

Nanaka doesn't take no shit.

Tenri knows.

She doesn't even need to ask, and Tenri tugs on the ends of her hair again.

"— I'm fine," she repeats firmly. "It's just a little— blurry."

Nanaka's forehead crinkles. "Blurry?"

There's a slight pause in the conversation, one that is completely halted as Tenri stares out the window. Her eyes look vaguely blank, and her brows furrow as she thinks. She breathes in twice, and her fingers tug on her hair like a nervous tic— it's as if she's missing something.

Tenri shrugs almost helplessly in reply after a minute, her face struggling to make the correct expression. "I don't know— I, I just can't _place_ things right anymore."

"— s'doesn't make sense, Ayukawa," Nanaka remarks flatly as she rips through her rice balls. Tenri brushes her fingertips against the bandage on her knee gently as she stares up at the ceiling.

Her smile is almost dry.

"It wasn't really supposed to."

* * *

><p>(<em>weary-eyed <em>| _dry throat_)

* * *

><p>"— we're not going to observe Tenri-san anymore?"<p>

Keima drops onto the bench outside of Misato High as he flips around his PFP. "It's pretty much done. Everything else can be based off her standard parameters from both the past to now, her usual personality, and any other routes that can be taken into account."

Elsie rolls onto the balls of her feet as she scans the streets for a firetruck. "Ne, Kami-sama, why'd we wait three days?"

His fingers slide (his like _fifteenth_) game cartridge out. "I don't know how Tenri is, or was, in school. I could base certain things off of assumptions, usually, since Tenri tends to act the same no matter where she is."

The tune fills the air quietly as he pauses. "— the problem lies in her so-called _memory loss_. We already know that this is probably the result of a runaway spirit. Sometimes, the spirit manifests itself in a way to 'fill a gap'— in this case, Tenri's particular 'solution' is forgetting about me. I needed a gap period to see whether and _how_ she has changed in other typical environments, such as the classroom. Three days is a good enough amount of time for students to adjust to such slight changes, and then get their input on the situation."

"Ah," Elsie blinks, her finger popping out thoughtfully. "So that's why we listened in on her and Haibara-san's conversation?"

"Well, that and," he continues vaguely, "I just needed background. Whether she was popular despite her personality, who were her friends, what is her place in school, et cetera."

Elsie glances back, her mind spinning slightly. "Your mind really does work in mysterious ways, Kami-Nii-sama."

He stares at his blinking screen, his eyes slightly critical. "These are just obvious precautions."

She sighs; she'll probably never understand his methods, but well. As she thinks about the situation herself, Elsie _gets it_— like, _duh, _it's perfect! "— oh, but, why don't we just try to _revive _her memories?" she asks eagerly, her eyes sparkling.

"Usually a good idea—"

Elsie claps because _damn, _she's good, but her face falls flat again. "— but it's not an ideal route."

"_Why_?" Elsie asks almost huffily as she settles on the bench beside him. His fingers resume clicking after a few seconds.

"Typically, you would have to trigger certain events to make that flag. It's not reliable enough, really, since _real _minds are incredibly finicky. If this was a game, I would just reenact Romeo and Juliet with Tenri or something, but—"

He powers down the PFP suddenly, and Elsie scans his face curiously. "But what?"

Keima slides his PFP into his pocket as he considers his answer. "The thing with Tenri is that this entire event is very debatable. As of going to the past, I can't tell if any of the flags she's triggered previously are due to her own choice, or due to _me_. The same holds true even without her memories. Is this _purposeful_? Do I meddle?

"The second problem lies in the fact that a goddess resides in her. As of now, Diana is practically back at square one. Tenri has lost all her memories of me," and his hand slaps against his chest, "her first love. As a result, Tenri is, as of right now, providing no power to Diana.

"Besides even that, a loss of memories can be quite painful in its own right— I don't know when, but it is almost certain I will need Diana's power along with the other goddesses in the future (since New Hell is completely useless, dammit); I can't afford to compromise Tenri's feelings right now.

"— basically, if I mess up en route of her getting her memories, I take the risk of both worsening the damn spirit and having Diana weakening even more."

Elsie settles her elbows onto her knees as she stares at the road with a disappointed sigh. Keima shields his eyes from the sun as he watches the clock obscurely.

"And the last problem lies in the fact that Tenri's gap is either very weak and will grow to be big, or her gap is _already_ extremely massive."

She immediately raises herself back up, trying to process the sentence. "How do you know? We don't usually guess the gap size."

"Yeah, well, I've never encountered a girl with a goddess _and _a runaway spirit in the girl's heart," he counters flatly. "There must be a few firsts for everything."

He answers her question without her asking; Elsie listens, as always, and tries to understand.

"What I mean is that Tenri has always been very resistant to runaway spirits— so why did this happen all of a sudden? For it to actually be able to plant itself into her heart means that this is Tenri's biggest weakness, her biggest chink in her usually pretty solid armor."

Keima squints just one time as the final bell rings. "It's pretty dangerous, probably."

Elsie turns her neck as he stands and brushes himself off. "These are all just theories in the end though. I'll have to first jumpstart a flag."

Her mouth opens— he closes it with a practiced swipe of his hand. "There's no time," he hisses. "I can explain the rest later, but—"

Keima's eyes flash. Elsie holds back the urge to look awed _and _the urge to roll her eyes— God mode.

"— this conquest starts_ now_."

* * *

><p>(<em>for angels to fly, to fly, to fly<em>)

* * *

><p>Tenri's problem is that she's not expecting that one guy from a few days ago to ambush her.<p>

As soon as she exits the school— (all whilst avoiding the curious stares of her classmates)— she bumps into somebody. She flails a bit, and just as she's about to fall, she feels two firm hands make their way to her shoulders. She tenses on instinct and looks up.

"Ah," she says in surprise, her finger pointing before retracting itself again. "Hello."

An almost awkward silence ensues between them. His glasses reflect the sunlight almost perfectly, and she blinks twice, her eyelids struggling. She's so damn _tired_ these days. "— I'm really sorry," she eventually says quietly, trying to offer him a small smile as she attempts to walk past.

Just as she takes one step forward, he tugs on her arm. She looks at him questioningly as he raises her hand and drops something in it; Tenri wonders— there's something awfully weird about this boy, she thinks.

A little part of her is wondering, but dammit, she's too tired to think about this right now.

He curls her fingers over the object carefully. "You dropped this," he tells her, and then he's gone as quickly as he had appeared.

Tenri opens her hand. She pales, and dammit, dammit, she doesn't know why— she never knows why, these days.

"How strange," she murmurs, her lips curling gently all around the edges.

Her fingertips pop a bubble.

* * *

><p>(<em>stuck in her daydream<em>)

* * *

><p>thanks for the nice comments!<br>(lol i'll lit try to get better updating, seriously.)

**xxx.**


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